Gotta roll with the punches.

I feel like the Lord is working a lot in me and I want to share these happenings with you. First I want to say that I am 21 years old and have never kissed a boy, had a relationship with a boy, or really any experience whatsoever with a boy. Well, in May of 2010, I got to experience what it was like to have a close friend that was a boy. As the year progressed we became closer and closer and spent more and more time together until we were always talking or together and became essentially best friends. Well, I now have a theory that guys and girls should not be friends, at least close friends. Things happened emotions were running wild and an ill thought out show of affection occurred. I can still boast that I have not kissed a boy or done anything immoral. However emotional lines were crossed and I have learned the hard way that when that happens things cannot go back to normal. I tried for a while to put my feelings to the side, but finally enough was enough. This boy made perfectly clear that my feelings were not reciprocated. It really hurt me because I felt I poured a lot into the friendship. I am not a half in half out person. I am full-fledged in everything I do. A frustrating thing is that I knew all along that if I actually did have a romantic relationship with this boy it would not be God's best for me. He is an amazing guy, but I know that God has something different for me. It just took a heartbreak of him telling me he didn't feel the same intense emotions towards me that I felt toward him. He had told me in the past that I was funny that I was smart that I was easy to talk to. So I couldn't understand what the problem was. I began to irrationally wonder if it was my lack of good looks or my extra pounds that made my "love" unrequited. So, I had to do the hardest thing I have done in a while and completely end it. It has been a rough few days, but I know that the Lord has a plan. He has already taught me so much through this.

As I was typing this I began to think how many times does God bless us so immensely and we just cast Him aside. We use Him to fulfill our wants and desires, and then we kind of cast him to the side. How many times does God tell us of His love for us and we leave Him for someone else. I know how hurt I felt when I was on the receiving end of that situation, but to God large quantities of peoples treat God like this and to a higher standard. In my situation I had to let go to guard my heart for me, for the boy, for my future husband, and ultimately God. We are supposed to serve Him with a pure heart untainted by the things of this world. The thing that is so awesome about God is no matter what, He doesn't leave us. He doesn't need R and R. He stays around despite the neglect of what He wants from us. Oh, to be able to learn things the easy way would be way less heartbreaking, but it would probably not be as profound.